Frustration!!!!
Ok, so being a teacher is everything I thought it would be and more however….one problem I have is the ever loved (previous 2 words dripping with sarcasm) MCAS Test! This is one of the few things in my life that make me feel helpless! I feel like a rotten teacher when a students asks for help with a word or problem and I have to outright refuse them for fear of losing my job! For those of you who are reading this and don’t know what the MCAS is it is a standardized test that all students grades 3-10 must take. It is supposed to be an accurate measure of what the students have learned in the year however, if you get to see the test like I do, you will notice that it has many flaws, from how the questions are worded to how they determine what material is on the test. This gets me thinking of another frustrating thing for me but I will save that nugget for another blog! This year I am currently working with 3rd graders with varying learning disabilities so it is my nature to want to help these kids and take advantage of any possible teachable moment. Well along comes the MCAS and and this year I happen to be working 1:1 with a youngster who gets the test (Math this round) read aloud to her as well a scribed for her, on any question requiring her to write and not just fill in bubbles. So she is taking the test and along the way she asks me to explain a question, this is how the conversation went…
Student: ” Ms. Martins what do they mean? I don’t get what they want me to do!”
Me: ” I’m sorry I can’t help you. All I can do is read you the question again.”
Student: ” How come you can’t help me? You help me in class. I don’t need the answer I just don’t get the question.”
Me: I’m sorry I can’t help you. All I can do is read the question to you again.”
Sooo… do you see my frustration? I am in the business of helping kids. The whole fiber of my being wanted to help her. All she was seeking was a clarification of the question not the answer. But NOOOOOO ( again dripping with sarcasm) I had to sound like a broken record and refuse her. The look of defeat on her face was one to break my heart a thousand times. Why is it that when kids need their teachers most is the moment we are deemed by DOE law that we can’t help them? Why is that people say our schools are failing our students when perhaps it is that our hands are tied so often that we can only do what we can? I know this blog i going nowhere really, and that it is turning into a rant but I can’t help it! I hate to see my students struggle…they try so hard to get the right answer but all because they couldn’t understand one word or phrase they are 1 point off in the answer. GRRRRRRR…..ok, ok, deep breaths, in….out….in….out…..
Ok, sorry folks I lost the whole point of where I was going with this but what it all comes down to it I guess I just want to be able to teach my students as best as I can, I will continue to say “I am sorry I can’t help you”, and I hope that they don’t hold it against me, and when the test is through maybe I will sit with them to do a question like the one they didn’t understand and hope that too little isn’t too
late.
:~ A
Blast from the past
So I got an email from my junior high, early high school best friend. Talk about a blast from the past! It is strange though how suddenly someone from so long ago can evoke such strong memories! Music tends to do the samething to me. In fact, I was listening to my ipod the other day and a Chris Isaak song came on, oh you know the one…”what a wicked game you play, to make me feel this way”…yada yada…, annnyyyway, whenever Chris Isaak comes on I think of Maryclaire, my old friend, and I think of how young we were, how serious we thought we were, how much fun we used to have. Now, we are both married with children, living a grown up lives, but are we all that different from our younger selves? Let’s compare memory lane to grown-up street…. (at least my lane and my street)
Then…Watched a T.V. show where the main character was a vampire in love with a human (Dark Shadows)
Now…Watch a T.V. show where the main character is a vampire and is in love with a human ( Moonlight)
Then…New Kids On the Block were “Hangin’ Tough”
Now…New Kids On the Block are…well…ummmm..”Hangin’ Tough”
Then…Collecting autographs of who I thought was “BIG”
Now…Still trying to collect autographs of who I think is “BIG”
Well you get the idea…so how much have we really changed? Grown? Do we all just suddenly one day turn the switch from who we were as teens to adults? I believe that we will always be who we liked ourselves best as, who we felt we really were. Me, I will always in my mind be that silly, young girl with a crush on a TV character, sining along to her fave music, collecting autographs. The only difference is that I know what my life holds and I am happy with it how it has turned out. I no longer have that uncertainness hanging over my head.
So for all of you out there afraid to make contact with someone from your past for fear of seeing who your old self was, perhaps your old self never left, but just got a few grays and the tempo of the music changed.
A
